How to Use Empathy and Emotion to Double Your Sales

What if you could get 5%, 10% and maybe even 15% conversions with mediocre sales copy? You can, but there’s something you’ve got to do first – you’ve got to build trust, likeability, credibility and loyalty with your prospects. People buy on emotion. In fact, if you ask someone a day after they read your …

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Six tips for improving your communication style

Here are six tips for improving your communication style:

1. Knowing how to improve communication skills will come easier once you become aware of your own communication style.

Each person has a unique way of communicating. Listen to your own speech. What sorts of words do you use? Which sort of body language and what tone of voice are you using?

Now, think of someone who, in your opinion, is a good communicator. Compare your style to theirs. You’ve just taken an important first step in how to improve communication skills.

2. Now that you are aware of your own style, study the style of those around you. How do the most important people in your life converse? How do they say things? Look for approaches you can model and make your own.

3. Adjust to the other styles of communication. Don’t think it is too late to change your way of conversing because it’s been years. You had to learn to communicate in the first place and you can unlearn certain behaviors or change them. Sometimes we get stuck in a communication rut.

A father once was having a hard time with his teenaged daughter. She was growing and he thought she didnít tell him what was going on in her life. They were in a heated discussion when he asked, Why didn’t you tell me?

Her answer was that she had, but he was too busy lecturing her to hear her. He learned that adjusting his style to his daughter would involve listening first before jumping right into solving the problem.

4. To build rapport, during a conversation try and match the other person’s movements, posture and verbal style. Don’t do everything they do, but mirror one or two things. For example, if the person gives mostly short answers to questions, you follow suit.

Or, maybe they talk at a slower pace than you usually do-slow your speaking speed to match theirs. This may sound simplistic but it is a very potent way to make someone feel very relaxed and comfortable in your presence.

5. The way you communicate at home may not be the same as in a different environment. Make sure you change your style to suit the different setting. Some comments you might want to tell your best friend, in private.

Other things can be shared in a group setting. Learn how to improve communication skills by altering your style for the appropriate setting. Many of us know someone who offers far too much information in a group setting.

6. Don’t criticize others for communicating differently. If we all communicated in the same way, weíd soon be bored with each other.

Getting a good grasp of your communication style and finding ways to accommodate other peoplesí styles, is a good way to improve your communication skills.

 

Nathalie Nahai – Web Psychologist

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Webs of Influence by Nathalie Nahai brings together the latest insights from the world of psychology, neuroscience and behavioural economics to explain the underlying dynamics and motivations behind consumer behaviour.

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Think You’re Not ‘Expert’ Material? Think Again…

When you’re an expert, you command respect in your niche. People listen to you, they pay attention to what you say and most of all they buy your products.

Being the expert in your own niche is like writing your own ticket to freedom.

Granted, you’re never going to become “The Expert” in a massive field such as weight loss.

But niche it down to “Weight loss for new mothers” or “Weight loss for brides-to-be” or Weight loss for video gamers,” and you can indeed become the expert in your niche.

I was reading Russell Brunson’s new book, “Expert Secrets,” and it starts out by giving some examples of just how easy it is to become an expert.

When Russell was in college, he tried internet marketing but failed. Then on spring break when he was bored out of his mind, he and a friend decided to build a potato gun.

The thing was, they didn’t know HOW to build a potato gun. It just sounded like fun. So they started doing some research.

They discovered things like the correct barrel-to-chamber volume ratio, the right propellants to use, the correct pressure for the pipes, how NOT to blow themselves up and a whole lot more.

Armed with this information, they went to the store and bought their supplies. Then they spent the next few days building the gun, finding a place to shoot it and yes, shooting the gun itself.

They had a great time, and when Russell was in school the next week listening to the professor drone on, he thought about how he’d rather be shooting his potato gun. Then he wondered if there weren’t other people who would rather be shooting a potato gun as well.

Russell checked, and sure enough: the previous month there had been 18,000 searches for the term, ‘potato gun plans.’

Russell talked his friend into creating a DVD on how to source the items needed for building a potato gun, and how to build the gun itself.

Then he sold this DVD online. While he didn’t make a fortune, he did earn enough to get excited about online marketing and his new career was born.

Notice in the above scenario what Russell did to become an expert. He picked a topic he was interested in, researched it, experimented and did his own work, and then created a video.

Not exactly hard work, was it?

Russell gives a few more examples of people who became ‘experts’ in the same manner:

Jacob Hiller always wanted to dunk a basketball, but he was lousy at it. So he started doing research to discover techniques to improve his ability to jump. Every time he found a technique that worked, he made a video.

At first nobody was paying attention, but after awhile he had 100 followers, then 1,000 followers, and pretty soon he had 10,000 followers.

So he made a product and built a company that makes millions of dollars teaching people how to jump. Crazy, but true.

Jermaine Griggs had trouble reading sheet music, so learned to play piano by ear. Now he makes millions teaching others to do the same.

Liz Benny was an excellent social media manager, but it wasn’t until she began teaching others what she knew that she started making millions.

Robert G. Allen once said that he made millions doing real estate deals, but he made hundreds of millions of dollars teaching real estate.

Think of that – he made MILLIONS doing real estate deals, but he made HUNDREDS of millions teaching others what he learned.

Are you an expert at something that other people want to learn? Then as Russell says, you are just one funnel away from making millions.

But maybe you don’t have an expertise yet – that’s okay. As you can see from the above examples, every one of these folks learned to be an expert first and then built their business teaching others to do what they did.

Even Russell wasn’t born an internet marketing guru. He studied and practiced and worked to become what he is today.

And the same goes for me and every single expert making 7 figures on the internet.

One last thing – you might already be an expert, but you’ve got a voice inside your head saying, “Who am I to teach others? I’m nobody special.”

You are indeed special but you just don’t know it yet.

What you know comes easy to you because precisely because you’ve studied and practiced.

Yet to most people, what you know seems like something very difficult.

They need your help.

They WANT your help. 

So ask yourself this question: Who are you to deny them the help they need and want?

Think about all the people you can help with your skill. By focusing not on the money you’ll earn, but instead focusing on helping others, you can build a 7-figure business you can feel great about.

And by the way, you can get Russell’s book, “Expert Secrets,” for free, here.

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Marketing Lessons Learned From Psychopaths

In my never ending search for ways to better appeal to my audience, I sometimes venture into the dark recesses of the human psyche so that I might better understand my customers and even myself.

I’m not picking on psychopaths here. Nor am I villainizing them. As I understand it, psychopaths are born the way they are – it’s not a choice.

A psychopath is generally someone who feels little or no real emotion, and instead has to fake it. They might lie a great deal. They have an inflated sense of self-worth. They use superficial charm and glibness to manipulate and con others. They lack remorse, guilt or empathy. And they constantly are in need of new stimulation.

About 1 out of 100 people are psychopaths. Odds are you know at least one, yet you might not realize it. Remember, most of them are not killers as the media might portray them.

But they can be incredibly charming and persuasive. Some psychopaths can find a person’s weak spot in minutes, manipulate that person using that knowledge, and actually make their target very happy and thankful to have been manipulated.

I’ve seen psychopaths at work. They fake emotions and use the techniques I’m about to cover to make people like them almost instantly.

Have you ever met someone and almost instantly thought you had a lot in common with them? Maybe you did – or maybe they were a psychopath adept at making you feel that way.

Now then, for those with active imaginations, I’m not recommending you turn into a psychopath when it comes to your marketing endeavors. And I’m certainly not suggesting you manipulate your prospects into becoming customers, either.

What I am suggesting is two-fold:

First, we can learn about influence from those who are skilled at it – and psychopaths tend to be especially adept at influencing others.

Second, forewarned is forearmed, which is to say once you are aware of these manipulation techniques, you will be better able to recognize them when they are being used on you or even against you.

Flattery: This isn’t just compliments and buttering you up, although that’s a part of it. Psychopaths can hone in on your insecurities and then provide you with the reassurance you crave to make you feel better. This makes you like them, trust them, and follow their suggestions.

As Marketers we do a variation of this in sales letters, agitating the problem and making the prospect feel the pain of the problem before we offer the feel good solution.

Favors and Gifts: The psychopath will do you a favor or give you a gift you might not even want. But still, now you feel obligated when s/he asks you to do something for them.

We do this in marketing, don’t we? We give away things, and in turn folks feel obligated to take a good look at what we’re offering.

False Intimacy: They’ll pretend to be interested in everything about you – your hobbies and interests, the kinds of music you like, your job, your family and so forth. Then they’ll tell you fake secrets to create an even deeper intimacy, at which point you’ll reciprocate and tell secrets about yourself. This is how a psychopath can go from ‘stranger’ to ‘new best friend’ in one or two meetings.

Again, marketers use a variation of this in sales copy, by first showing how similar we are to the prospect. “I had the same problem you do, here’s my story with all my dark secrets, etc.”

False Expectations: Psychopaths pretend things are already happening the way they want them to happen, before others even have a chance to think. So instead of asking, “Do you want to go to dinner?” They’ll simply say, “Let’s have dinner tonight, I’ll meet you at Harvey’s Grill at 8pm.” You’re not thinking IF you want to go to dinner, but instead you’re already making plans to meet him there.

Marketers and sales people alike will often ‘assume the sale’ to get the prospect to simply go along, rather than feeling like they have to ‘decide.’

Silent Treatment: Psychopaths will give random and unexpected silent treatments to throw you off. You might wonder if you did something wrong, and even try to make up for it with gifts or overt kindness. If you do, then the psychopath knows s/he’s got you wrapped around their finger.

In marketing, going silent is seldom going to pay. Out of sight is very quickly out of mind.

Over Asking: This is crafty – the psychopath asks you for this BIG favor, knowing you’ll balk. But then you feel bad that you had to say no. So when they now ask you for a small favor, you readily agree. Of course, it was the second request that they really wanted all along.

If you’re not using this technique in marketing, you’re probably losing money. Let’s say you offer your live coaching class for $1,000. Obviously a lot of prospects won’t buy it, which is when you offer them a recorded version for a whole lot less money.

Or maybe you want a fairly big name marketer to do an interview with you. You’ve already started building a relationship with them, so you ask if they would like to co-author a product with you. When they say no, you then ask for what you really wanted – a 30 minute interview. (Sneaky, right? But done correctly it does work, but only if you’ve already got a relationship with them.)

False Equivalence: A psychopath uses a logical fallacy to imply that if you don’t do what they desire, then it means something else. For example, if you don’t do what they want, then you don’t love them, or you’re stupid, or you’re immature, etc.

I just want to note here that outside the realm of psychopaths, false equivalence generally means two things are given the same weight, even though they are radically unequal. For example, if you have a scientist backed with decades of research stating a fact, and a non-scientist sitting next to him denying the fact, it appears both have equal weight, when in fact the scientist is backed by 99% of his or her peers on the subject as well as thousands of scientific studies.

In marketing, we can certainly use tactics like these to manipulate our customers, but it’s shady at best. I do recommend you stay on the lookout for it.

You’ll see this tactic used continuously on television and the internet, with ads telling you that you’re not a man if you don’t drink a certain drink, smoke a certain cigarette, drive a certain car and so forth.

Or if you don’t own an iPhone, you’re not part of the ‘in’ crowd.

It would be like me telling you that if you don’t subscribe to my newsletter, then you’re a lousy marketer. That’s blatant manipulation and in my opinion it’s time marketers let this one go forever.

Fake Normal: They communicate that, “Everyone is doing this,” so that the person feels inclined to do it, too.

We use this one a lot in marketing. “Everyone is grabbing ABC product, you better gets yours, too!”

Fill Emotional Needs: Psychopaths will find your insecurities and unhappiness, and then provide reassurance. They’re giving people what they want and saying what they want to hear.

If we’re honest, we have to admit that we do a version of this all the time in successful marketing campaigns.

It’s perhaps a little surprising how much marketing has in common with psychopathy. Then again, we’re all about persuading and to a certain degree, manipulating – hopefully towards the BENEFIT and not the detriment of our customers.

If you are manipulating your customer for their own good, that’s one thing. If you’re doing it just to make a sale, you probably won’t be in business for long.

But one thing I learned from studying psychopaths is this – there is still far more that we can learn about persuasion, and sometimes we’ll find the answers in the oddest of places.